who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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