some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
