we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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