your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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