Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All the doctor said was why
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
