i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
