we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
