Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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