I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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