Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
