i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
