Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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