im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How does one acquire holy water?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
