you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
