how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize