This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Randomize
