Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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