you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
