Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Someone shattered a urinal.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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