So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
