I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
