We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
