There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
