She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
