I'm so fucking centered right now
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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