I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
