The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
