Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
