he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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