There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
