Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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