I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
