You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
