3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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