i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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