I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
