those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
