That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
