YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
