Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
