How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
