So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize