that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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