My balls are so social today.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize