If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Everything about him screamed your future.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
