I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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