So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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