i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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