Kiss
Puke
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
