Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
